Sunday, April 15, 2012

Shit Comes from Lack of Communication...

A couple of days ago, I received a message from someone with an Eastern Indian accent. It was so heavy that I couldn't understand what he was talking about.

"Ju helf accjent! Wai ju wurrie Indeeung accjent?!!"

"Gay Confucius, I have no clue what you're talking about either. I thought you're gone for good!"

"Wan nook eg mee weewee?"

"NO! Get away from me!"

Anyway, this person said he was calling from some company and that there was some problem with something and I should call back at some number and refer to some ID number. I had no clue.

So many companies are now outsourcing to India. If they do that, they should at least find employees who can speak clearly. A lot of time, even when they speak a little clearly, they have no clue what they're talking about. It's like they are reading from a cheat sheet. Even when they are supposed to be the technical specialists, a lot of times they make no sense. It's so frustrating.

I still don't know what that message was about. It's very annoying because I don't know whether it was something important.

I thought I'm pretty good with understanding people who talk with an accent. I have an accent myself. Jim thinks it's exotic. I do it to humor him. I have no accent when I speak to the people in my family. At my clinic, I have patients from so many different countries. Patients who speak English are the minorities. Excluding my sister and the PA, I have 4 female Hispanic employees, 2 male Hispanic employees, 1 male Nepalese employee, 1 female Burmese, 2 male Burmese, 2 male Vietnamese, and 1 female Vietnamese. It's like an international market when my clinic is crowded with patients, which is all the time.

Anyway, I love my patients. Most of them are indigent but very nice. My overhead is very high because they don't usually speak English. A lot of time, we are like their social workers as well.

"Fook! Geg ong wee duh jstoree!"

"Hold your horses, Dear Gay Confucius!!!"


"Ju ang-nee-wei all duh tyme!"

"Shut up!!!"

"Ju Jut oop!! Fook! Ju lo jut up ole meng nike mee"

Anyway, 2 days ago, I saw a 17 y.o. Nepalese girl. She said she spoke English, so I didn't need my Nepalese guy to interpret. She had symptoms of a Urinary Tract Infection. So, I gave her a cup to collect some urine for me. I specifically asked her to urinate in there. She said she couldn't. I told her I needed just a little bit. A moment later, she brought back the cup with poop in it. Ew!!!

"No, no..."

"You told me to urinate," she said with an Indian-like accent.


"Oh, you should say pee!"