Mermaids are real

Growing up, I had always been curious about Mermaids and Extraterestrials.  I searched and searched about them.  I spent a lot of time in the library just to read about them.  But, all I found were myths.  However!  Now, with the rich resources of today's internet, I just stumbled into some old documents with very reliable consistencies.  I will share with you information about the Mermaids today. 

In Ancient Japan, actually up until the 19th century when the Ninja practice still existed, Ninja masters took in students.  Each Ninja master would choose one loyal student to accompany him everywhere he went.  He would teach this student everything.  In turn, the student was to obey him in every way, every demand, including sex.  The students were to always assume the bottom position.  When the students grew up and left the masters and became masters themselves, they would then take in their own students.  They then became the tops. 

However, it didn't always happen that way.  Some of the new Masters loved being the bottom so much, they lied about their age and joined other groups as students.  The Association of Ancient Japanese Ninjas later found out, investigated, and stripped off all the Master titles from these Ninja Masters and shipped them all to one of the Polynesian islands where they were to make flower necklaces to sell to the Ancient Greeks and Romans.  When the Ancient Greek and Roman merchant ships sailed by the island, these ninjas would dress up as geishas and lured these sex-deprived men into having sex with them.  They showed these men the art of gay anal sex.  These Greeks and Romans loved it so much that they introduced it to their people when they returned to their homelands.  They called it "bottom-me".  Over time, some high-ranking Greeks with speech problems called it "soddom-me".

The ancient merchants around the world started to frequent this island.  Some unknown artist without much talent drew these ninjas wearing kimonos and passed around.  Through a couple of centuries and bad artists, these kimonos started to look at tails.  People started to call these ninjas as Merchant Maids.  Later, it was shortened as Mer-maids.  Later, King Henry the XI of England took a trip to this island.  It was told that he didn't have a good time, so he sent some of these Mer-maids to Hawaii.