Thursday, December 8, 2011

Be Open

Rob in Below the Radar thought the relationship between Jim and Me came from a Hallmark movie and asked if we started with a hook-up.

'Grin'...It's definitely not like a Hallmark movie, at least not yet. I watch a lot of Hallmark movies, and I definitely know that it's not even close to a Hallmark movie. This is because Jim has not yet listened to every thing I say. He has not succumbed to the fact that I know best. In a Hallmark movie, Jim would be hanging Christmas lights, putting down tulip bulbs, changing bird cages while I admire him for doing it...LOL...Just kidding, Jim.

To be honest, with Jim, I didn't start as a hook-up. We met at Jim wrote to a number of people, so I don't know if I was his first choice, probably not. At that time, I had just canceled my subscription to And, I think, Jim had just put his profile there. He sent me a little note. I looked at his photo and was drawn to his eyes. To me, there was a kindness apparent when I looked at his eyes. I just knew he was a nice person. We emailed each other first.

I always knew what I wanted. I wanted love. I wanted one person to love and to be loved. I didn't care how we met. I did not set a specific standard. Though, I only met people with photos. To me, there has to be a reasonable attraction. Somehow, I was perfectly ok if people didn't like me, but I always felt bad if the other person liked me and I didn't feel the same way. I like who I am, but I can't force people to like me when they have not yet known me. I was very open. To me, being gay, everyone has his own story, his own situation, his own limitation, if I had a strict standard, I might have missed out on someone wonderful. The criteria I had for myself were simple: 1. I have to be attracted to that person, 2. I prefer my age or older but open to others, 3. honesty, 4. that person cannot date another person while dating me. Everything else was open.

From my experience, and my experience only, a lot of those people who set out to hook-up will settle for love when they met someone they like. I had met different people who started looking for a hook-up, but when we met, changed their minds and wanted a dating relationship with me. To me, it's very difficult for us gays to find people that we like to date. So, oftentimes, we ended up being lonely. So, a lot of us resort to hooking-up to patch up that loneliness while waiting for the right one. Even though I didn't hook up a lot, I met people who wanted to hook up with the confidence that if they liked me, they would stop hooking up. And they did. I live in the South where there are a lot of people who are not into Asians. There are a lot of profiles that say "no Asians". At first, I felt a little insulted, but then I realized it's just a preference. All I had to do was to be irresistable, and they would come...just kidding...LOL.

Actually, I think I converted a few non-Asian lovers... :) Anyway, my point is just be open, you'll never know.

Back to Jim!

I usually don't wait too long to meet when someone I like writes to me or responds to me. I would like to talk and meet him as soon as possible. And if we don't click, fine. So, I emailed Jim and told him about myself, what I was looking for, what I liked, my family situation, etc. and gave him my number. At first, he said he was shy and wanted to email before we talked on the phone. But, I guess he liked what I wrote, so within that one day, he wanted to meet with me. I was very excited.

So, he came down to meet me for dinner. We sat across from each other at a very small table, and I was very nervous. I guess I was nervous because I really liked him. I loved looking into his eyes. After dinner, the rain started to dribble, so we sat in Jim's car. He asked if he could give me a kiss...:))). He kissed me; I touched him slightly on his chest...:))). Then, we said good bye. I felt in love.

At that time, Jim thought he was still bi-sexual, but I knew it wouldn't take him long. Of course, he didn't know how crazy I was. Once he found out, he was already hooked....LOL!!!


  1. I hope you know I'm just teasing you! Anyway, thanks for sharing the story of how you and Jim met. I was curious.

  2. The truth is, at the time I considered myself Bi and I could not imagine leaving my wife. So when I was cruising I was not looking for love. I thought a hook up would be nice. I thought friends with benefits would be ideal. When I sent that first e-mail, I could not have imagined what eventually happened.

  3. RB: :))) Loe ville cum ju ju weng ju leest ech-sjpech ich!
    Gay Confucius.

    Jim: I'm glad you're no longer Bi-curious...:)))

  4. Thanks for this warm and loving story of how you met.

    You guys are awesome!

  5. Gay Confucius is a little confusing for me to understand. Love will come to you when you least expect it?